Sometimes we hold onto stuff like hurt feelings, rancor, anger, much longer than we have to. In fact, we sometimes snuggle into these feelings like much loved flannel jammies. These feelings become our fortresses, our bunkers, our barbed wire fences intended to keep further hurt away.
While initially constructed as a means to keep us safe, as a means to cope, what happens over time, as we hold on to this toxic stuff, is that we become imprisoned in them.
A telltale sign to me is someone who is chronically defensive, or someone who responds preemptively - I’ll be rude and mean to you before you can be rude and mean to me.
The thing is, we constructed them, once upon a time when that’s what we knew to do. But surely we know better now, we can take them down, blow them up, demolish them. The sooner, the better so we can move on.
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