PICKY

I was once told that the reason I wasn’t in a relationship was because I was too picky.  I thought about that for a long time and even thought wow, maybe I should be less so.  And then it hit me.  THANK GOD I’m picky.  Why wouldn’t I be?

From what I see with people in relationships and circumstances in which they are incredibly unhappy or at the very least compromising their best selves, I would say that we are simply not picky enough.

And what does it mean to be picky? It doesn't mean you're arrogant, aloof and disengaged. It means you have values and you intend to stick to them.

STUFF IT DOWN

"Even when our instinct, our wisdom, confirms what we can see with our own eyes, we will choose to listen to the rationalizations coming from the voice in our head instead. Why? Because the voice in our head will always choose the option  that produces the least amount of fear and anxiety. 

How many times have we dated someone, or gotten into a regrettable situation, or not spoken up when we needed to, and then retraced our steps to find we ignored warnings from our instinct, the warning in our gut? That’s our wisdom. We all have it, but instead, we listen to our head telling us to be polite, not offend, not make a scene, go along to get along, let sleeping dogs lie, stuff those painful feelings down."

from Getting over ourselves: Unearthing old crap so we can move on

BACK

See it's not how long you've been away or fallen off the wagon or messed up or whatever.  It's about how you return and recommit.  That's what matters.

If anyone who ever had a goal or a vision simply stopped the minute they got knocked down, distracted, pissed off at the slowness of the process or whatever...for a minute, an hour or a decade, no one would ever accomplish anything.

ANSWERS

The Universe has three answers for you:
1) Yes
2) Not yet
3) I have something even better in store for you

Believe. Trust. Let go.

WORTH IT

“You get what you pay for” is an axiom we use to assess the value of a product.  That’s how we’re best familiar with it.   But it’s also a great way to assess our own value and the value of the lessons we’ve learned.  

Here’s the thing.  If we’re skating on the surface of our lives, avoiding risks, playing it safe, listening to the drivel that fear chatters in our ears, then our experience in living life has cost us nothing.  On the other hand, the more emotionally expensive an experience, the more it cost us in blood, sweat and tears, the more value that experience has for us.

If you’ve had a challenging life, a life that seems to throw obstacles in your way at every turn.  Or, if you have a need to challenge yourself, to keep jumping off cliffs to test out your wings, then send the Universe a prayer of thanks, because chances are you recognize the value of who you have become having paid dearly for that wisdom and insight.

WHO

It’s critical that we know who we are otherwise anyone can convince us we're anything.  And believe me, they’ll line up to do it.

RELENTLESS

And with all its stealth and quiet the Universe will assert itself, relentlessly. It will not let up until you get it.  It’ll make you broke, get you sick and allow you to make the biggest most awful mistakes you can imagine just to get its message across.  Watch out and buckle up. 

HEART

The other day the words THE DEBT IS PAID appeared in my head seemingly out of nowhere.  All of a sudden I felt this overwhelming sense of peace and clarity, like a puzzle piece had just fallen into place.  

Our heart speaks to us all the time and it speaks clearly and succinctly and tells us exactly what we need to know.  The only problem is that it speaks softly and if we’re not paying attention we’ll miss it.  Vigilance is the key. If we’re searching for answers to a problem, get still and listen.  The answer will float through the ether and descend perfectly formed into our consciousness.

UNCONDITIONAL

Loving unconditionally isn't just something you reserve for your kids. Imagine who you would be, how you would be present as a parent, if you felt, very deeply felt, unconditional love for yourself?

AND/OR

A life well lived is never about either Truth OR Dare but rather, Truth AND Dare.

NOTHING

“Better than nothing,” is the clearest expression of lack.

GREEN

The grass is not greener on the other side.  It is plenty green exactly where you’re standing if you just paid attention to where you were standing.  That’s gratitude.

ZEBRA

When you hear hoofbeats don’t think zebras, think horses.

It’s an aphorism that reminds us that solutions are usually not as exotic or as complex as our lizard brain would make us believe.  Sometimes a solution simply requires that we do absolutely nothing.  Sometimes the best way to solve a problem is by not creating one in the first place.  

In other words, when confronted with a horse, don’t turn it into a zebra.

FIT

What relationships have you outgrown?

What attitudes have you outgrown?

What habits have you outgrown?

Stop trying to squeeze yourself into things you’ve outgrown.  Time to move on.

THE POWER OF STORY

We can’t underestimate the power of story.  Stories; those told to us and those we tell ourselves have huge influence on who we are and how we live our lives.  What we forget however is that if we’re living a story that doesn’t fit with who we are we can change it.

And how do we change our story...how do we change anything?  One part nerve, two parts knowledge, and three parts tenacity.

CHAIN

Women have been brainwashed into manufacturing the links in the chains that binds them.  This is how women collude in their own oppression.

CHARM

Talk rich.  Integrity poor.

THIS IS NOT A JOKE

It is said that in trying to get misogynistic cultures to change, in continents as disparate as North America and Africa, one needs to tread lightly. When speaking with men we must take care not hurt their feelings, insult their history, not get in their faces, not ruffle their feathers, otherwise they will never stop raping, beating and killing women.  

Sally Armstrong, ASCENT OF WOMEN

DEVELOPED

Any reference to “the developed world” is pure economics.  The fact that women contribute to the bottom line is critical, the fact that economies are built on women’s backs (literally and figuratively) and second class citizen status, is ancillary.

There is very little that’s developed in this kind of system.  It is actually regressive and stunted.  So who are we kidding?  

CHAINS

So long as some of us are in chains, none of us are free.  

It may be a matter of geography but don’t think for a minute that women earning 20-30% less than her male counterpart isn’t on the same continuum as those women who are literally in chains in Africa, Afghanistan, Iran -- it’s just a matter of which end we find ourselves on.