NOTHING

“Better than nothing,” is the clearest expression of lack.

FEELING NAUSEOUS

"...40 per cent of Albertan men believe that if a woman wears provocative clothing, she's putting herself at risk for rape."


Research released in Alberta this week, see: www.acws.ca

Live like your life has value

I was researching some statistics on domestic violence and came upon the website from the Ontario Ministry of Community Safety & Correctional Services.  It was a report from the chief Coroner entitled “Eighth Annual Report of Domestic Violence Death Review Committee.”

Here’s what I understood: 

1. From the title alone I understood that this committee has been reviewing these stats for eight years.  
2. Reading on I understood that this committee’s sole purpose is to review the stats and then make recommendations to “organizations and agencies that were in a position to effect implementation...”  
3. From a chart tracking this committee’s work since it’s inception I understood that deaths from domestic violence has gone up from 24 in 2003 to 36 in 2010.

Here’s what I didn’t understand:

1. How many more years of this reviewing is it going to take before it dawns on someone that while collecting and reviewing these statistics is interesting, solely making recommendations “to organizations and agencies that were in a position to effect implementation” isn’t working, the numbers aren’t going down!
2. Who are these “organizations and agencies” accountable to?
3. Is it fair to single them out as responsible? Perhaps not.

The thinking (our thinking, their thinking) that makes it acceptable for a woman in Afghanistan to have to choose between life imprisonment or marrying her rapist for freedom, is simply the extreme end of a continuum that has 22 women dead from Domestic Homicide in 2010 (out of 189 province wide).  It’s the continuum that says, women are not valued.

The reality is that women need to change this. If we don’t stand up for ourselves, no one else will.  This is the whole point of the Flight Imperative.  When you value yourself and live like your life has value, you will change the world.

Half the sky

Whether I like it or not the Shafia trial enters my consciousness one way or another.  It never fails to illicit a strong mix of sadness and fury that begs the question: If women hold up half the sky, why is it that we shoulder almost all the weight and experience only a paltry piece of shelter?  

We need to change this because:

 “None of us is free, if one of us is chained.”

Solomon Burke - http://www.tubelyrics.org/lyrics_solomon_burke_house_m_d_s2_none_of_us_are_free-241403.html

Nothing kills off...

...creativity or a dream faster than having to work to pay off debt.

“I've always lived within my means. I've never been in debt in my life. I refuse to because I know the minute I’m in debt, I’m then at somebody else's behest.”

Terry Gilliam

Filmmaker

http://the99percent.com/articles/7121/Terry-Gilliam-On-Ideas-Unlearning-Avoiding-Debt

Let's be clear...

The flight imperative is the antithesis of running away; it's a moving towards.

My flight imperative is to...

...illuminate the path to the runway so women can take flight and live the expansive life they were born to live.

A laughing matter

I came across a website (I’ll not mention it, but I’m sure you could find it) that talked about women and how they seem to not need men as they get older - (it appeared to me as though the author was interested in uncovering a flaw in older women).  He was looking for data to support his theory and what he found was that a) there wasn’t a whole lot of data around this subject, and b) the data that existed show that older women aren’t remarrying because they are usually widowed and tend not to remarry.  But he does uncover further data that reveals that women, overall, are the ones that initiate divorce.  So, it seems to me that he has proven his point to some degree.

Why is this important?  People, men and women, need reasons for explaining things that aren’t working in their lives -- they’re trying to make sense of what they’ve experienced or could be experiencing right now. 

So the sheer fact that someone would ask “Are women done with men after age 55” points to a very particular scenario in this person’s life, perhaps he’s sensing that his wife (or his friend’s wives are not showing the interest in their husbands that they once did ).  The point however is, as you can imagine, the reason why women initiate divorce or why they become distant from their husbands/boyfriends, etc., is as varied and complex as the individual herself.  How much does this kind of data show?  Not a whole lot.  In fact, you can find data on just about anything and interpret it to confirm just about any theory you need it to.  

But what’s the value?  A lot, if it makes you feel better and don’t mind a very narrow point of view.  Not a whole lot, if you understand that people are complex and that the hugely varied human experience cannot be pinned down and defined by a set of data.

Although the idea that some are comfortable with using a set of data to explain something as complex as why people divorce, is rather funny.   What isn’t funny is that some people read data like that and actually believe it to be a reflection of reality or that reality can be inferred by that data.

For example: Stats show that women initiate divorce ergo women don’t take marriage vows as seriously as men, therefore, women are more wonton and manipulative; women marry men to get at their money, and on and on.

See what I mean, you could spin a thoroughly nefarious story by simply stating that a set of statistics show that women initiate divorce.

Here’s why it matters.  The first lesson of taking flight is to ask questions, little ones, big ones, it doesn’t matter.  The point is don’t sit passively by and let other people tell you what reality is -- people have agendas.  Like those online dating commercials, stating that 1-5 relationships start with online connections - really, who undertook that analysis I wonder, the dating sites?  What is their agenda do you think?

Open the window, stick your head out and see for yourself what reality is.  And even more valuable, sit quietly for a couple of minutes and let your inner reality speak.  That, more than anything, is what truly matters.  That more than anything steers you toward the runway.