STUFF IT DOWN

"Even when our instinct, our wisdom, confirms what we can see with our own eyes, we will choose to listen to the rationalizations coming from the voice in our head instead. Why? Because the voice in our head will always choose the option  that produces the least amount of fear and anxiety. 

How many times have we dated someone, or gotten into a regrettable situation, or not spoken up when we needed to, and then retraced our steps to find we ignored warnings from our instinct, the warning in our gut? That’s our wisdom. We all have it, but instead, we listen to our head telling us to be polite, not offend, not make a scene, go along to get along, let sleeping dogs lie, stuff those painful feelings down."

from Getting over ourselves: Unearthing old crap so we can move on

CHANGE

You can't make anyone else change and no one else can make you change.  That's true.  Only you have the power to change yourself -- on anything.  In fact, changing yourself is the only thing you actually have control over.

Here's the thing, changing yourself doesn't mean making big, scary shifts in our lives, changing ourselves can simply mean choosing to react differently.

ANSWERS

The Universe has three answers for you:
1) Yes
2) Not yet
3) I have something even better in store for you

Believe. Trust. Let go.

WHO

It’s critical that we know who we are otherwise anyone can convince us we're anything.  And believe me, they’ll line up to do it.

UNCONDITIONAL

Loving unconditionally isn't just something you reserve for your kids. Imagine who you would be, how you would be present as a parent, if you felt, very deeply felt, unconditional love for yourself?

AND/OR

A life well lived is never about either Truth OR Dare but rather, Truth AND Dare.

NOTHING

“Better than nothing,” is the clearest expression of lack.

GREEN

The grass is not greener on the other side.  It is plenty green exactly where you’re standing if you just paid attention to where you were standing.  That’s gratitude.

ZEBRA

When you hear hoofbeats don’t think zebras, think horses.

It’s an aphorism that reminds us that solutions are usually not as exotic or as complex as our lizard brain would make us believe.  Sometimes a solution simply requires that we do absolutely nothing.  Sometimes the best way to solve a problem is by not creating one in the first place.  

In other words, when confronted with a horse, don’t turn it into a zebra.

FIT

What relationships have you outgrown?

What attitudes have you outgrown?

What habits have you outgrown?

Stop trying to squeeze yourself into things you’ve outgrown.  Time to move on.

THE POWER OF STORY

We can’t underestimate the power of story.  Stories; those told to us and those we tell ourselves have huge influence on who we are and how we live our lives.  What we forget however is that if we’re living a story that doesn’t fit with who we are we can change it.

And how do we change our story...how do we change anything?  One part nerve, two parts knowledge, and three parts tenacity.

CHAIN

Women have been brainwashed into manufacturing the links in the chains that binds them.  This is how women collude in their own oppression.

CHARM

Talk rich.  Integrity poor.

THIS IS NOT A JOKE

It is said that in trying to get misogynistic cultures to change, in continents as disparate as North America and Africa, one needs to tread lightly. When speaking with men we must take care not hurt their feelings, insult their history, not get in their faces, not ruffle their feathers, otherwise they will never stop raping, beating and killing women.  

Sally Armstrong, ASCENT OF WOMEN

DEVELOPED

Any reference to “the developed world” is pure economics.  The fact that women contribute to the bottom line is critical, the fact that economies are built on women’s backs (literally and figuratively) and second class citizen status, is ancillary.

There is very little that’s developed in this kind of system.  It is actually regressive and stunted.  So who are we kidding?  

CHAINS

So long as some of us are in chains, none of us are free.  

It may be a matter of geography but don’t think for a minute that women earning 20-30% less than her male counterpart isn’t on the same continuum as those women who are literally in chains in Africa, Afghanistan, Iran -- it’s just a matter of which end we find ourselves on.

GRATITUDE

I find it interesting that most of us women living in the west just have to learn to stop beating ourselves up.  The vast majority of women in the world however, would consider that a luxury since their problem is finding a way to have everybody else stop beating them up...and raping, stoning and setting them on fire.

Sure puts our gratitude in perspective doesn’t it?

ANATOMY OF CHANGE

“Change is one part nerve, two parts knowledge, and three parts tenacity.”

~ Sally Armstrong, ASCENT OF WOMEN

INDIFFERENCE

The worst thing possible is to live a life of indifference.  

“The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.” 

― Elie Wiesel

NO FEAR

We believe that living means feeling fear constantly.  The irony of course is that if we’re truly alive, it’s absolutely true.  

The problem is that what most people believe is that they should be living without fear.  That is why we make choices that are safe, easy, where the outcome is assured.  We’re trying really hard to make the fear go away.  

The reality is that if we feel no fear whatsoever then we’re probably doing something that’s not worth doing.