It’s a phrase coined by Martha Beck and we’re all guilty of it from time to time. Usually we do it when we hurt someone’s feelings, or when we lash out at the messenger when in reality we’re really pissed at the message. It’s important to be aware of it and make amends immediately. A heartfelt apology preserves our integrity.
Here’s the thing. While an apology might help soothe someone’s hurt feelings, the real insight is in making sure we don’t do it again. As Karen Armstrong says so beautifully,
“Look into your own heart, discover what it is that gives you pain and then refuse, under any circumstance whatsoever, to inflict that pain on anybody else.”
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