Motive

Knowing your motive, or WHY when you’re getting ready to do something is productive.  Knowing WHY will also give you an idea of what your goal is, and if you’re going off course, reminding yourself WHY will keep you on track.

Asking WHY or asking for a motive for something that is done to you, (someone snubs you, you’re diagnosed with an illness, a friendship/relationship comes to an end) while intuitively feels like an urgent question to answer, doesn’t actually help or matter.  In other words, does knowing why something happened really help?  I’d venture to say not, it doesn’t help or change what happened and while it may direct your action in response, this action is usually knee-jerk, or comes from a place of hurt, or from a place of vengeance, rather than a reaction that would be in the least bit helpful.

Yet people spend a lot of time asking WHY and searching for a motive, I know I do because I think that with that answer will come some way for me to feel less hurt, or less disillusioned, or less betrayed.  But I find that even knowing why does not bring that much sought-after peace of mind.  In fact, you can get stuck in that gear and keep driving that question of WHY, what was the motive, round and round in circles, expending a great deal of time and energy.

Would it not be more productive to let the WHY go?  Would it not be more helpful to acknowledge the experience or what has been done, or what has befallen and without needing a story or an editorial to go with it, pick yourself up, and move forward?