State of Forgiveness

Part and parcel of the feelings that make up that corrosive mix of lingering resentment and bitterness, is a misguided notion that we are better than the person we’re aiming our vitriol at.  In other words, we think that our hurt feelings are telling us that we have the right to tell the other person how they should act.

We don’t.  The other person is free to be whomever they feel like being, and acting however they feel like acting, and you have no control over how they are or how they act.  And you have neither the right nor the control over whether they are sorry for hurting your feelings.  Because, CHANCES ARE THEY’RE NOT EVEN AWARE THEY’VE DONE ANYTHING WRONG -- at the very least, they’re not aware, to the same level you are, that they’ve hurt your feelings.

Here’s what is your right and what you do have control over:  

1. You have the right to let the other person know that your feelings are hurt, HOWEVER, you must do so without any expectation from the other person: don’t expect an apology, don’t expect awareness, don’t expect an acknowledgment that they’ve done anything wrong.  NO EXPECTATIONS.
2. You have the right to not expose yourself to a person whom you feel does not respect you, HOWEVER, you do so without resentment, without anger and without bitterness, no residue of the circumstance of the past.  You do so with legitimate, honest and authentic compassion.

Now you’re in a state of forgiveness.