OTHER

The sticks that made up our nests contain within them the story: patterns, behaviors, coping strategies, dysfunction, etcetera, of our family of origin.   It is not surprising then when we grow up and construct our own nests we infuse our sticks with this story as well.

Therefore, if in our family of origin problems were always seen as created by others, even if the other was another family member, then chances are we will also look at our problems as coming from an ‘other’ AND (because it is ‘other’) are powerless to affect change.

So, if you think that your life sucks because your partner (boss, cousin, cashier, etcetera) isn’t acting the way they should, or your job sucks because  _______ fill in the blank, then you are dipping into your family of origin nest story.

This means you haven’t understood that:

1. What you see as most profoundly wrong in your life derives from an old pattern or dysfunction, and

1. While a circumstance may present itself beyond our control, whether we see it as a problem, or make a problem out of it, is never the influence of an ‘other,’ it is rather only influenced by us.

We create our problems, truly we do. I know, you’ll be sputtering...but, but, but... .  

Bottom line: You want something to change in your life, then don't reach back to your family of origin nest for answers, don't do what you've always done.  Try something new.  Change you.  

Change the way you look at something.  

Change the way you deal with something.  

Change the way you approach something.

Change the way you ask for something -- better still START ASKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT!