Getting into anything from a position of desperation will leave you vulnerable. When you feel desperate you are easily swayed, manipulated, led far astray from what you really want, you’ll agree to settle for so much less. Nowhere is this more true than getting into a romantic relationship from a place of desperation.
How do you know when you’re entering something from a position of vulnerability and desperation?
You’ll know when your body is sending you warning signals telling you that something isn’t right, sometimes it’s a ‘Hmmm” sometimes, it’s a tightness in your gut, sometimes it’s discovering tangible evidence that something isn’t right, but the key here is that while your body is telling you this, your head is choosing to ignore it. Call it what you like, denial, naiveté, ignorance, whatever - I will never buy the explanation that you were taken by surprise. If you’re paying attention, it is never a surprise.
Perhaps it’s because we don’t want to admit to ourselves that we’re feeling desperate, vulnerable, needy, lonely, unloved, etc. That we want so badly for things to turn out a certain way that we cast off common sense, dismiss doubts, or simply ignore what’s staring us in the face in the HOPES that all the signals to the contrary will magically turn around and all will turn in our favor.
Wake up.
Trust me when I tell you that it is so much better for your own peace of mind, for your own strength and growth to lean into those feelings of desperation, vulnerability, neediness and loneliness. Once you realize that feeling them won’t kill you, in fact it will free you - you will never enter into relationships of any kind from a place of desperation again.
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