Being a BFF has always been a very serious thing for me and I’m always dismayed when I meet people who take it lightly -- people who make everyone they meet their instant BFF. I find this indiscriminate collecting of BFFs rather disturbing and sad.
I think people have forgotten how to be a friend, how to have a dialogue, how to distinguish a human being as a best friend and a human being as a pet. The collector of BFFs really just wants an audience for their ongoing drama, they want a pet to tag along, they want a witness to their fabulessness.
They don’t care about you, honestly they don’t. Here’s how you can tell, ask them to listen to a problem you have and then time how long before the conversation has turned to focus on them - I’d bet it would take less than a minute.
The sad part is what it says about you. Why are you hanging around with a person like that? What stories are you telling yourself that keep you tied to this person? Whatever you’re getting: someone to go out with, companionship, whatever you’re telling yourself, isn’t worth the continual loss of self respect that you endure when you’re around them.
In every relationship, you deserve to feel like you matter, that your feelings matter, that your opinions matter, that you just showing up, matters a great deal. If you’re hanging around people who don’t make you feel like that - dump them. NOW. DO IT. HURRY UP.
Yup, I hear you.
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