The thing about being in an abusive relationship is that it’s confusing. Aside from the abuser’s erratic behavior - stomping on your head one minute and declaring undying love the next - it’s the confusion going on inside of you that’s particularly puzzling.
You know you’re a good person so why is he behaving this way?
Why is your love for this person not enough to change him?
He can’t really mean the awful things he says? Can he?
This is how he shows he loves me. Isn’t it?
How insecure must I be to stick around?
I must really be unlovable to have him treat me this way.
He clearly sees how unworthy I am of someone like him.
And the exhaustingly endless rationalizations:
It’s just the alcohol. It’s just the drugs. It’s just his messed up childhood. Etc., etc., etc.
Let me offer a bit of clarity: Love does not hurt. Not even a little bit.
Take responsibility for what your instincts are telling you. If you’re in pain in any way shape or form, be it physical, emotional or psychological, it isn’t love. It isn’t worth sticking around for.
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